She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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