CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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