Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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