Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
