so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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