i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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