She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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