Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
