pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
