fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
