I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
