Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
