Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
