I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They are going to name an STD after you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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