is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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