I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
