the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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