Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
