That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he fucked my hip out of place.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
