She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Even my vagina gasped.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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