So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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