How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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