Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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