so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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