if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so let's talk penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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