Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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