Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
