There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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