Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
