1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
