Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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