We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize
