One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
