I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
