I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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