ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
