her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
