I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
