well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
