I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
