butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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