Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
