before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
