i think i have herpe
just one?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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