Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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