He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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