Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
