Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
