well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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