I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
false alarm. still invincible.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
